Change from the Inside-Out
Why Self-Awareness Matters
Ever catch yourself stuck in that weird loop — wanting to grow, do better, but still slipping back into the same old patterns?
You start the day with a to-do list and good intentions. But then the distractions begin — the scrolling, the pinging, the sorting — and before you know it, the day’s gone. You were busy, but not with the things that truly matter. You wonder, “Why can’t I get anything done?” You’re stuck in a cycle of your own making and can’t get out.
This is where Enneagram work comes in. It helps uncover what’s beneath the surface — your core motivation. Understanding this helps you make sense of why you do what you do.
And once you can name the behavior, you can begin to change it. As Suzanne Stabile says, “You can’t change what you can’t name.”
Naming brings awareness. Awareness creates space for change.
The Enneagram doesn’t just describe what you do — it reveals why you do it. And unless you understand the why, you’ll likely repeat the pattern in new forms.
Here’s how it plays out:
Type 1: Constantly self-corrects — driven by a need to be good and avoid being “bad.”
Type 2: Overextends for others — trying to earn love by being needed.
Type 3: Overworks — believing worth is tied to achievement.
Type 4: Withdraws or compares — fearing insignificance and longing to feel unique.
Type 5: Pulls away — avoiding overwhelm and seeking self-sufficiency.
Type 6: Overthinks — looking for safety in a world that feels uncertain.
Type 7: Stays busy — avoiding pain and emotional discomfort.
Type 8: Controls — trying to protect themselves and avoid vulnerability.
Type 9: Avoids conflict — fearing their presence doesn’t matter.
When you uncover the real motivation behind your actions — the thing you’re unconsciously trying to protect, prove, or avoid — you begin to see clearly. And with this clarity, you have a choice.
You begin to ask:
Is this action serving me, or just feeding my fear and insecurities?
Can I actually change this behavior from a place of self-awareness?
Is this choice aligned with who I am or who I think I have to be?
The Enneagram is not magic. It requires work that comes from a framework for finding our way back to our true self. It helps us find a roadmap to change that is more than behavior modification. It guides us to change — from the inside out.
If you’re stuck in a loop you can’t seem to break, let’s talk. I use the Enneagram in coaching to help people reconnect with their true self — and move forward with authenticity, passion, and courage.