Living Ourselves into Change
We do not think ourselves into new ways of living, we live ourselves into new ways of thinking. ~Richard Rohr
What is keeping you from making the changes you want in life?
Many things vie for the opportunity to keep us stuck. Overthinking and roller coaster thoughts are one way that prevent us from finding change. Rumination can keep us dwelling on experiences, relationships, unmet goals, failures, and more. When this happens, we often cannot find the off switch to our thoughts and we stay where we are, not moving forward, not progressing, and not becoming all we can be.
James Clear says in his book Atomic Habits, that a 1% change is very small, but done over time it can have a huge impact. A daily 1% change can bring about an overall 37% change in life over the course of one year. And, doing nothing for one year can result in a significant deficit. Clear says, “All big things come from small beginnings.” He’s not the first to compare making changes to the life cycle of a plant, how a tiny seed can grow into a fruitful tree with small steps and careful cultivation.
“The seed of every habit is a single, tiny decision.”
~James Clear
A few years ago I decided I wanted to be a runner and signed up for a Half Marathon. I began training on a pretty conservative schedule and increased my ability to barely run one mile to 13.1 miles in the course of about 5 months. At first, it was a struggle to get going and complete the first mile. I was determined and committed to my running schedule that consisted of incrementally adding distance to each day’s run. One day, about 2-3 months in, I was scheduled to run 7 miles. I took off and ran a familiar route with a few loops to maximize the distance. I returned to my front yard and checked my watch for the mileage — I had easily run 7 miles and I felt as if I could go a little bit further. I was completely shocked that I not only ran 7 miles but had the energy and mind to keep running! It was the small but consistent steps that eventually brought me to a place where my body knew what to do and the struggle was minimal. It was a profound example of just how muscle memory works. By doing a little bit more everyday my body and my mind made the changes that I was hoping for. The mental muscle memory that came from literally putting one foot in front of the other proved to me that taking small action, even on the days I did not want to, equaled change in my life. Had I decided to suddenly go out and run 13 miles (or even 5 miles) without getting there gradually, I would have failed, been discouraged, and abandoned my goal.
Quieting our overthinking minds that keep us stuck can be achieved with one small action at a time. When we can gently persuade ourselves to take tiny steps that produce mental and physical muscle memory, change happens.
My mom loves to share a story about how she learned to drink black coffee. Her goal was to consume less sugar. So instead of jumping right into being a black coffee drinker, she slowly but steadily over the course of time, began to put less sugar in her coffee each morning. Eventually she began to enjoy the taste of coffee without the sugar. She made small changes that allowed her to make and maintain a new, more healthy habit. At the age of 85, she is still a black coffee drinker. Mom simply and mindfully reached an overall goal by taking tiny steps each day.
As Richard Rohr so profoundly states, “We do not think ourselves into new ways of living, we live ourselves into new ways of thinking.” This starts with action: making small and incremental changes and seeking new experiences. When we embody change through actions we bridge the gap between our thinking, feeling, and doing and we find true change.
Thinking about making a change and actually making that change can sometimes be worlds apart! What do you need to change in your life? What tiny steps can you take to build up muscle memory and new embodied experiences that will bring about long-lasting change?
Resources:
Clear, James. 2018. Atomic Habits. An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones. Penguin Random House, LLC.
Rohr, Richard. Orthopraxy Leads to Real Orthodoxy. Retrieved 11/7/2023 from https://cac.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/8-ORTHOPRAXY-LEADS-TO-REAL-ORTHODOXY.pdf