What is the Enneagram?
How the Enneagram can foster understanding of self and others.
One weekend, my husband brought home some DVD’s to watch. It was a series of teaching on the Enneagram by Father Richard Rohr, a renowned Catholic Priest and Enneagram teacher. I initially thought I was not interested due to my lack of preference for “informative” television. But as I listened from the next room, I found myself being drawn towards the TV and the wisdom being shared. I became captivated by the truths found in each of the nine personality types and quickly realized that this was more than a personality test that might tell me what Star Wars character I most resemble.
The Enneagram of Personality Types is a framework of nine universal personalities that describe how people see and react to the world. It was first developed by the monastic Desert Fathers and Mothers during the 3rd century in Northern Africa and has been expanded on for centuries by spiritual leaders from many different backgrounds including Christian, Jewish, and Muslim. It is a system of personality that defines nine different types which are universally connected. There is complexity in the nine types with the layers of subtypes, wings, stances, centers, and more. The layers lead us to a deeper understanding of our imperfectness and how we can find a path to wholeness.
When I finally identified my type, it was a profound experience. I tasted freedom AND experienced humility in being seen and understood at a deeper level!
“The Enneagram uncovers the games we find ourselves tangled in.” And, it has the potential to “make us more capable of loving other people, loving ourselves, and loving God.”
A few Insights from my Enneagram Journey:
The Enneagram is more than a personality test.
Father Rohr says that the Enneagram “shares with many other typologies the crude reduction of human behavior to a limited number of character types.” However it is much more than a crude personality test or a dinner game to entertain.
“It is a very old map” that “is concerned with change and making a turnaround.” (Rohr, p.3) It shows us our patterns of behavior, our motivations that lie beneath our behavior, and our coping mechanisms. It invites us to step out of the cycle that keeps us stagnant and unhealthy.
2. The Enneagram guides us to our true self and what is beneath our personality.
It shows us how we get “stuck in our number” letting situations and other people determine our energy, punish or reward us for our behavior, and keep us from discovering our self-worth. “The Enneagram does not put us in a box, it shows us the box we are already in - and the way out.” (Riso and Hudson, p.28)
I am learning that I am all 9 types on the Enneagram but that Type 7 holds the patterns of my behavior based on my motivation which is to avoid pain. I can get stuck and make excuses for myself based on the characteristics of my number. I can also tap into all 9 types and be a more balanced version of myself. When we experience a behavior from another type, we have to take notice. Taking notice leads us to being more aware of not only our type, but how we can become more integrated and whole by embracing the other 8 types.
3. The Enneagram can unlock parts of us that have been asleep.
I recently learned that I am primarily a Thinker and secondarily a Doer, and not much of a Feeler. (Thinking, Doing, and Feeling are called the Centers of Intelligence which is at the core of who we are and how we operate.) I have led a life fraught with emotions - how can I not be a feeler? Even though I have felt a lot of things in my life, I am an expert at stuffing feelings down, not emoting, and not processing. I learned at a very early age to take care of others who are in emotional angst and in doing so to not leave room for my own feelings. I carried this pattern throughout my life until I found it hard to tap into any deep emotions at all. Through the wisdom of the Enneagram, I have learned that I need all three Centers of Intelligence to find balance. I need the Thinking, the Doing, and the Feeling so I’ve been working on trying to feel all the feels ... from letting the tears come over something beautiful or sitting in the deep emotions of grief and loss that have been parts of my life.
“It’s hard to hate someone when you know their story.”
4. The Enneagram shows us how to love better.
There is a saying that “It’s hard to hate someone when you know their story.” When you know the fears and motivations beneath a behavior, it is easier to find compassion and empathy for the behavior and the person. The 9 Enneagram types are based on underlying motivations and fears. For example, Type 1s fear being bad or wrong and so they strive for perfection to be good, virtuous, and have integrity. They are often compelled to not only do the right thing but make up for the errors and carelessness of others. They are constantly striving after the ideal which often leaves them feeling frustrated and angry. Understanding this drive for perfection is helpful to me in relating to the 1s I know. It allows me to give space for their perfectionism, avoid feeding their inner critic, and encourage them to embrace what is and not what should be.
If you are interested in discovering and/or exploring your Enneagram type, I would love to help. Enneagram coaching can help you not only determine your type, but increase your understanding of how and why you navigate the world in the way you do. Understanding the lens in which you see the world can help you begin to make changes in how you interact and relate to the people you share life with. I have an Enneagram coaching package that will work for you! Also, check out the Enneagram books I recommend from my Bookshelf.
References
Riso, R., & Hudson, R. (1999). The Wisdom of the Enneagram: The Complete Guide to Psychological and Spiritual Growth for the Nine Personality Types. Bantam Books.
Rohr, R., & Ebert, A.(2001) The Enneagram. A Christian Perspective. Crossroads Publishing Company.
Stabile, S. (2018) The Path Between Us: An Enneagram Journey to Healthy Relationships. Intervarsity Press.