Tips to Conquering Holiday Overwhelm
We look forward to the holidays all year long. We love the magic of decorations, the joy of parties, the peace that comes when friends and family gather, the good food, the giving and receiving of gifts, and much more. But for many of us, even with our best intentions, we become overwhelmed during the holidays. Instead of peace and joy, we might experience exhaustion, frustration, and/or sadness. We have hustled and bustled, overspent, overindulged, had our feelings hurt, grieved missing loved ones, and are just tired. The holidays can be overwhelming!
Here are a few tips that might help you from being overwhelmed this season.
1.Be Present. Really listen, talk less, and be in the moment.
I love the phrase “your presence is our present.” Getting undivided attention from someone else is a gift! Giving the gift of feeling heard and understood is one of the best ways to improve relationships. To keep your focus try taking deeper breaths, listen to understand — which usually means talking less, and remind yourself that your presence and focus is a beautiful gift.
2. Focus on the positive. Find what is good and beautiful.
Negativity Bias is a real tendency in all of us to notice what is negative more than what is positive. For example, someone may receive nine positive compliments and one negative comment. Most of us will dwell on the one negative comment rather than the nine positive ones. This is human nature and can lead to feelings of sadness, angst, and the tendency to view your glass as half-empty. Take pause when you notice the negatives over the positives and try to find something good and beautiful in the moment, then hold on to it.
3. Slow down. Not everything is urgent or has to be done.
A few years ago, I decided to stop sending Holiday cards through the US mail. The time, the expense, and the effort put into this endeavor did not measure up to the holiday joy I wanted and needed. While I do love getting cards from others in the mail, I don’t receive as many of them now. The trade off is that I can see many more pictures of these same friends on social media. Consider simplifying one of your traditions, like not having each gift wrapped perfectly, or only making 2 or 3 different types of holiday cookies instead of 8 or 10. What do you not need to do this holiday season so you can find time to relax and enjoy this special time of year?
4. Maintain Healthy Habits
There are so many ways to overindulge during the holidays—like great food and drink, parties, late hours, and more. But you can still be careful with what you consume. Quality over quantity and less is more are great reminders to keep from over-indulging. In addition to watching your food and drink intake, remember to get enough sleep, exercise, and spend some time outdoors.
5. Breathe Take a break to refocus, get calm, and rest.
Step away when negative feelings arise. Step back in when ready. Negative feelings are sure to arise in all of us during the holiday season. Sometimes there can be so much going on around us and within us that we don’t even notice them until we’ve said something or done something we later regret. Be aware when negative feelings come up. Breathe — use box breathing, or 4-7-8 breathing techniques — to give yourself a moment to feel your feelings. Then, step away if you need to. Go to the restroom, take a walk, get something to eat or drink, and allow yourself time to let the feelings pass. You can return to your activity or people when you are ready.
6. Ask for Help
Normal and complicated family relationships can often lead to hurt feelings, anger, loneliness, or sadness. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Lots of us struggle during the holidays. Find a safe person to debrief what is happening inside of you. Reach out for professional help if your feelings of sadness, loneliness, or frustration are causing you to have thoughts of self-harm or suicide. Dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline to talk to a crisis counselor. You are important, your life is important, and your feelings matter.
7. Have Fun! Don’t forget to enjoy yourself.
This is the most important tip and a combination of all the above tips. The holidays are a time to enjoy so make sure you are allowing yourself time for good conversation, games, deep laughter, and time to soak in the wonder and awe of the season.
I hope this blog post is helpful to you wherever you are in life this holiday season. Some resources that helped me write this article and which you might find helpful are below.
RESOURCES:
Cherry, Kendra. (November 13, 2023). What is the Negativity Bias? Viewed online: 12/10/2023. https://www.verywellmind.com/negative-bias-4589618
Stabile, Suzanne. (November 2019). The Holidays and the Enneagram. MP3 Recording. Life in the Trinity Ministry. https://www.lifeinthetrinityministry.com/store/holidays